Worst blog ever...

The worst blog ever. That's what I'm going to rename this thing if I continue to be the laziest blog author on this side of the Mississippi. At least I'm assuming I'm the laziest blog author on this side of the Mississippi. Frankly, I'm too lazy to spend much time worrying about it. Honestly, I have more important things to worry about right now.

Like my marriage. Seems that I've been replaced in my wife's heart by a large piece of compressed carbon (read all about it here). Apparently the fact that I have characteristics that distinguish me from the rest of the animal kingdom, such as thumbs that are useful for many things and the capacity for reason (even if I often choose not to exercise that capacity) is insufficient to make me more valuable than a piece of rock that simply sat underground for several thousand years waiting for someone else with thumbs and reason to dig it up. Since two of the main attractions of this hunk of rock seems to be that it is large and shiny, I might be able to regain my position in her heart by wrapping myself in tin foil (I've got the large part covered. Pizza and beer and a job that only requires sitting tend to do that). Also, nevermind the fact that I drove her to Kansas City to pick up the rock. What did I get for my trouble? Not even a thank you. Instead, I got the silent treatment on the ride home. Why was this? As near as I could tell, the light from the setting sun made the rock look "pretty." Well, I can be "pretty." And "witty." And "gay." Ummm....errr...I think that's supposed to be happy. Trying to regain my standing with my WIFE might be problematic if I was gay.

Of course, seeing as how she's nearly a lawyer and therefore at her core pure evil, this might all be a clever plot designed to extract ever larger rocks from me. If so, I saw some large boulders down by the creek. Anybody know where I can get them fastened onto a giant ring?