Obligatory fluff piece...

Well loyal readers, we here at the Mister Speaks are celebrating an anniversary (and don't worry, it's not a wedding anniversary - I dug out a copy of the marriage license to make sure), our 10th post. That's 10 hard-hitting, insightful pieces to stimulate your thoughts and discussions. In that way, we're sort of like a reputable newspaper or news magazine, except that there's really nothing reputable about anything we do here. But, seeing as how these 10 posts all represent a significant effort on my part to provide you with entertainment and/or knowledge, we're going to take it a bit easier tonight and go with the obligatory fluff piece. You know the type of story I'm talking about - "Star quarterback also likes kittens." "Politician likes to vacation in state he/she represents." "Local man wins major award in the form of a lamp that resembles a woman's leg." Stuff that merely fills the pages and provides meaningless background information about people, only very few of whom you cared about in the first place.

Of course, since you're still reading this, I can tell that you care about me, so you are the beneficiary of the first The Mister Speaks fluff piece, in which you will learn some completely meaningless background information about me. Specifically, we're going to go with "Witty blogger enjoys ping-pong." I'll pause a moment to let the gravity of that information sink in. And I'll give you another minute to assimilate that data with the other things you already knew, or thought you knew (you're not getting unauthorized information from someone else (I'm looking at the Wife here), are you?), about me. Really, this is some fairly heady stuff. It's the kind of information that you're not likely to come across randomly, and certainly not from a source other than the horse's mouth (something else I enjoy - err, well, horses, not necessarily their mouths). Now, some say that chess is the game of kings. I disagree. For me, ping pong is the game of emperors (note the subtle shift of geographic and racial undertones - just one more example of the wit you've come to expect over the past 9 posts here at the Mister Speaks). The subtle strategy involved in scaling down a game of tennis to table-top proportions while using a ball lighter than Paris Hilton's brain. The quick reflexes needed to excel at this game make it a more reasonable gauge of athletic prowess than any football or baseball game. Plus, who doesn't love the clickity-clack of that little plastic ball on the table? I mean, you record that and sell it, you've got a guaranteed platinum record on your hands. Then, of course, there's the other wonderful aspect of ping pong - the table design makes it possible to play alone. Simply fold one side up and you're able to enjoy hours of the mesmerizing sound of ball slapping at your own pace, under the steady control of your own hand on the paddle. Surely the game of emperors.

Alas, loyal readers, our foray into the hidden world of the Mister must end. But look for future fluff pieces that are equally revealing of pointless details of my life. For example, you may learn that I like birch trees, while I curse the mere existence of hickory trees. Also, a future post may (or may not) explore why the author likes hardwood floors laid out on a north-south axis, but despises hardwood floors laid out on an east-west axis. Yes, it's part of our continuing effort to improve your knowledge of me, the Mister. Why do we do it? So that when you build a fan site extolling my greatness, you get the details right.