The horror, the horror...

Okay, so you're worthy author has spent some time at work tonight brushing up on his Joseph Conrad. Hence the reference in the title to The Heart of Darkness. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, and it's a short (about 100 pages) read to boot. Now, I'm not going to go into the morality of colonialism or a discussion of the fallen state of mankind, as some of my posts have sufficiently proved the latter and I have no experience with the former. Rather, this is a time of great rejoicing here at the offices of The Mister Speaks. In three hours, I go home. Not a big deal, unless this happens to be one's 18th straight night at work, which this does. Now, you may be asking yourself, what is so horrific about this. Well, simply put, it means I'll be awake during much of the day tomorrow in an effort to get back on a normal sleep pattern. I've done this on many a Monday (I normally work Sunday nights anyway), but never the day before the election. And this, my friends, is where the horror lies.

If I see one more ad for ANY political candidate, I'm going to throw something through the TV. And I love my TV (not as much as if it were a plasma screen, but that's another story). Normally I loathe having any program interrupted by commercials, but watching these ads makes me yearn for a Quicken Loan advertisement that promises to lower your monthly mortgage payments while simultaneously lowering your future ability to afford your home (creative home loans being another story that we could go into). In fact, at this point I'm willing to go out and buy nearly any product in the vain hope that my meager contribution to that corporation's coffers would result in more expenditure on ads. Heck, I found myself watching a significant portion of the Oklahoma State - Texas game Saturday night on TBS before I went to work for the sole reason that Phillips had purchased nearly all the advertising time during the game and was presenting it with limited commercial interruption (and imagine how much better I would have enjoyed that experience on a Phillips flat-screen, not that their advertising worked or anything). Now if it were possible to retreat into the wilderness for 24 hours in order to avoid these ads, I would do it, but, alas, the Wife is not exactly a fan of camping (now THAT is a story for another day - well, actually, probably several days).

Besides, what do these ads really teach us? Do I care that one candidate may be utilizing tax shelters in the Bahamas? Only to the extent of wondering why, if it is such a big deal to the opponent (who also happens to be the incumbent), he has done little to nothing to close that particular loophole, in fact voting FOR Bush's tax laws that codified such shelters. Do I live in mortal fear that "America will not be America anymore" if illegal immigration is not curbed, as one ad suggested? Frankly no. If I'm so closed minded that some new blood coming into my nation makes me fear for its downfall, I need to go live somewhere else, not build a giant fence and reduce disadvantaged humans to the status of stray dogs. There was a time when everyone in this country (with noble exceptions) were illegal immigrants, they just happened to be "lucky" enough to have better guns and diseases. Societal toleration of genocide helped too. Thankfully, we've moved beyond the point where it's okay to just shoot those we don't agree with. Or, finally, will the terrorists win or lose depending upon who I vote for? Wow, for once I actually agree. Although, sorry to disappoint dear Republican National Committee, I can't agree that it would be a vote for a Democrat that allows them to win. No, I think voting for a party that actually encourages torture, illegal detainment, and denying access to lawyers to prisoners held in secret CIA prisons for fear that they might discuss with someone in the outside world the first two encouraged practices mentioned is the vote that actually gives victory to terrorists, communists, anarchists and any other group that has opposed America in the past, present, or future.

I said in my profile that I am a political moderate. I guess I should have said that I'm a political independent. Better yet, I'm politically "Canadian." In other words, I'm so disgusted with it all that if I wasn't determined to have my say, in whatever small way a vote may allow me to do that, I wouldn't even go to the polls on Tuesday. At the very least, at least the ads will stop after that.

P.S. For voting information you can really use, check out http://www.vote-smart.org/index.htm . Possibly one of the most useful sites on the web, this site allows you to view voting information, campaign finance information, interest group ratings, and more on both the incumbents and the challengers for your area. If you're going to vote, at least make an informed decision (and by informed I mean doing more than having a knee-jerk reaction to the TV ads).