Okay, so apparently this post really is by popular demand. I apologize to those that have been waiting expectantly for this post. But it wasn't my fault: I've been held captive in the Dragon-Headed Fun-Sucker's lair for the past week or so. It was only through the liberal application of coffee to the situation (and a pizza) that I was able to break free of the prison.
The other problem was that I didn't have anything to write about. But then I decided to attempt to provoke the dragon-headed fun-sucker even further by writing a post based on the results of a Google search for the phrase: "Help, the feminists down the street stole my wife." Unfortunately it didn't turn up the type of hilarious, deranged web pages that I was hoping for.
However, the search did lead me to discover something else, which has prompted me to violate one of my own rules of blogging: I'm going to reveal precise personal data. Any random stranger that comes onto this blog will know important information about me. So, now that I've built it up: I am NOT going to be aboard the
ms Noordam from July 29 to August 5. Why not, you may ask? Just follow this link (
click here) and you'll see why. Of course, some of you may be of the political persuasion being pandered to on this cruise. If so, that's fine with me - you're certainly entitled to your viewpoint. Just as I'm entitled to mine, and thinking about spending a week trapped on a ship off the coast of Alaska with the speakers and guests likely to be aboard (it was just announced that John Bolton, former U.N. ambassador, will be one of the speakers) leaves me convinced that the experience would be something akin to the 10th circle of hell that Dante forgot to write about. Now, I'm sure there are probably similar cruises out there pandering to liberals, so I shouldn't be too amazed. Actually, the thought of voluntarily submitting myself to a week long excursion filled with unabashedly partisan speakers of either viewpoint leaves me contemplating the removal of various pieces of my anatomy with a rusty spoon were I actually forced into such a situation. I seem to have a stronger aversion to this particular cruise given the highly conservative nature of the topics and a distrust of the conclusions of certain speakers (I'm looking at you, Mr. Laffer - admittedly, I know little of the specifics of his belief that lowering taxes can actually raise government revenues, but when the first people you get on board with the idea are Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, I suspect it's not a well thought out position. Especially when it leads "leaders" to cut taxes in the midst of a occupation of a couple of foreign states), but I have the same reaction to any group or politician that wastes time on pandering to a "base" instead of really getting things done. Which is more important for the future of the country: Mandating alternative teachings to Darwin's work or fixing the teaching of basic English language skills to our youth? If one answered the former, I suggest that one go read a message board that contains a large number of teenage users. Let me know if you find one that actually contains a recognizable form of English.
I apologize to everyone who reads this (all 3 or 4 of you), this wasn't a very funny post. If you want me to do better next time, help get Google to have amusing results for insane quotes like "Help, the feminists down the street stole my wife."
